Sunday, April 8, 2012

Why Facebook could be damaging your chances at finding LOVE.

 Why Facebook could be damaging your chances at finding LOVE.

Facebook is a great social networking site that allows users to share status updates, interests, photos and much more with approved friends or even the public depending on your personal privacy settings. This social networking site contains users from ages 13 – 100 years old. High school students, their parents and even grandparents share the enjoyment of sharing information with their social network family and friends.

One problem that Facebook has inflicted on society is the opportunity for everyone to become a detective and investigate the people around us, spy on our ex’s and fill our heads with hasty generalizations based on what we find. We all do this including myself. You see a photo of your ex girlfriend or boyfriend with their new love and you automatically begin picking out a flaw about this person whether it be their nose is too big, you had better hair or straight to the point you think they downgraded we are constantly judging people based on what we find on Facebook.

I overheard a couple of girls talking in the library the other day and one of the girls talked for about twenty minutes about her relationship with her ex. Finally near the end of the conversation the other girl asked, “So what does he do now? Job? School? The girl immediately replied, “I don’t know I have not spoke to him in a couple years.” After a chuckle her friend replied, “So you just Facebook stalk him.”

The problem with having this information at our fingertips is it is now taking people longer to truly move on from their ex’s because you are constantly checking their page whether they checked in at the gym or posted a new photo of them with their arm around a mystery person, they are constantly fresh in your head.

Facebook has also made us very judgmental and some of us make hasty generalizations with even consciously realizing it.

When we meet an attractive single person we automatically begin questions their intentions or the negative trait this attractive person MUST portray that keeps them from being in a relationship. In our society we all seem to assume the worst of people especially potential relationship prospects because of all of the information available to us. I have noticed that most people are more likely to hand someone their Facebook URL then their phone number. This means that you and your potential new relationship will be able to go through past photos, comments, status updates and interests before even going on a date with one another. This is assuming you two did not Google search each other as soon as your new potential walked away. You may have laughed at that last statement but it happens more often then you think.  We no longer trust people and therefore do not take the time to get to know someone without investigating them first.

Why is this a problem? We often search these social networks to find dirt on the person we potential want to start a new relationship with. This means that we are not logging onto these sites excited to find out common interests, we are logging on to see when their last relationship was and if the information they told us matches their profile.

Bottom Line:
This means we are starting potential relationships off on a negative foot rather then a positive, whether it is looking up your ex or digging up dirt on your new boo it leaves you irritated and frustrated instead of excited. The best pat about dating is getting those butterflies around the person you are interested in or the excitement of that first date. Facebook investigation can make you question a person before even giving them a chance and in extreme cases may make someone run away before even understanding who they are running away from based on their online profile.

Do you spy on your ex on Facebook?
Have you walked away from a potential new relationship based on something you found on their Facebook? We want to hear from you! Thanks for reading!

xoxo Gift-Of-Gab 
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Dating Tip #4: Movies appropriate for a first date.

            There are lots of movies that come out every year, different genres, staring talented casts and indulging storylines but what is appropriate for a first date? I think that you can never go wrong with a comedy. The genre of comedy is a great way to help relieve the butterflies in the your stomach and the tension that comes along with the first date.
Horror movies are great for a second or third date because it gives you a chance to cuddle up in the movie theatre but on a first date you are still trying to get to know each other therefore it is too soon.
Romantic comedies, which are also known as chick flicks, may be the choice most women want to choose but by avoiding movies like this you are sending a message to the guy that you genuinely are considering their choices as well.
Action packed thrillers, these are also not bad choices for a first date but you must know your audience if your date hates Spiderman, Batman ect. You may not want to bring them to an action movie. This goes along the same lines as chick flicks but in a guy’s world.
Animated movies, although we all love Disney and Pixar anytime that you go to an animated movie, you will most likely see children there. Although seeing children is not a bad thing, I have a true story that proves animated movies may not be the best choice. I went to see Shrek 4 when it first came out, my date and I were sitting in front of a family with four children. Half way through the movie my date decided to put his arm around me. Just as his hand touched my shoulder about to rest it down the kids said, "hey, mr. move your hand I am trying to watch." Although it was hilarious my dates face turned extremely red, as if first dates are not uncomfortable enough lets add a kid in the mix. LOL. Remember kids do not have filters so goodluck! 

Bottom Line:
In my opinion stick with the comedies! But first ask your date what they prefer and see if you can make a compromise.

What movie did you see on your first date? On one of mine I saw The Hangover! Great Choice!

Leave comments below.

xoxo Gift-Of-Gab
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab

Dating Tip #3: Do NOT double text in the first stages of dating …


       Some of you may be asking what is double texting? Double texting is defined by a person texting someone, not receiving a reply back and then continuing to text them over and over again. There is also something called triple, quadruple and stalker texting. No matter how you put it anytime someone does not text you back it is because they consciously have chosen not to text you at that exact moment. This does not mean that they WON’T but it also does not mean they are inviting you to send them more text that they will not reply back to. Important: The more text you send the less likely they are to ever reply back to you because you are coming off as clingy or crazy….

         There are reasons why both men and woman do not reply back right away. Some of you have heard of the time span rule and you abide by it because you don’t want to seem too eager or clingy. On the other hand, you could be at work, in class or somewhere that you can’t reply back right away.



The time span rule:
0 – 30 seconds – Whipped
30 seconds  – 2 minutes – Very interested
2 minutes – 15 minutes – Interested in seeing where this goes
Anything over 15 minutues – Friend Zone unless they include sorry I was ________.
Never text back – NOT INTERESTED… RUN



If someone does not text you back within 24 hours. They are NOT interested in you.
You may come up with excuses such as
Maybe they lost their phone or my number
Maybe they never got my text (you never know BUT this is a one in a million chance)
Maybe they got a new phone, didn’t memorize my number and are waiting eagerly by the phone for me to text them….

HAHAHAHA NOT.

         In reality they have either moved on to someone else, found your texting conversation boring and therefore don’t want to continue or they already have a girlfriend/wife.

Bottom Line:
         The only sane excuse you can use for someone not texting back is they forgot and if they forget to text you back one day they may forget they have a girlfriend when a cutie walks by. Double texting is like seeing someone you went to high school with in a grocery store if you have already waved once and they clearly saw you but did nothing you do not continue to wave right? SO don’t continue to text after you have tried once…

Thoughts? Leave me a comment.

xoxo Gift-Of-Gab 
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab

Dating: Tip #2: Rules of sexting…

           First off, what is sexting? Sexting has become very popular with the newer generations and it is a form of foreplay in many romantic relationships and friends with benefits/hook-ups. Sexting can be defined as talking dirty over text messages and/or sending dirty pictures. Sexting is not a bad idea if someone is in a long distance relationship or away on business BUT once again people have become way too confident when hiding behind technology and are asking for inappropriate pictures WAY TOO EARLY.
I am a single woman and just this year 7 GUYS have asked me for pictures better yet inappropriate pictures all before even going on a first date… Keep in mind it is only February. When you ask me for a picture that early, you are basically telling me you are not interested in a relationship/ getting to know me. You are telling me all you want is to get me in the bedroom and then you will never call me again.. When I finally couldn’t help but wonder if I was the only one I mentioned this topic to some of my friends, they all had at least one story of a similar experience! This is a trend that has become a common one but I am at a loss of words as to why?

Men - If you want to see what a woman looks like WAIT for the date you will get to see her sit across from the table from you all night ;) 

Woman - If he asks you for an inappropriate picture and you are not ready to send it DON’T feel obligated, be honest with him and tell him you are not ready. If he sticks around you know he is worth your time and if he doesn’t there are many other fish in the sea. Keep in mind real gentlemen won't ask, they will wait for it to be offered.

Bottom line: 
Women still want RESPECT and asking for an inappropriate picture is NOT respecting her.

Thoughts? Id love to hear from you.

xoxo Gift-Of-Gab 
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab

Dating: Tip #1 - When to use texting?

      Just because you CAN text doesn’t mean you should! This is one of the PROBLEMS with dating in the 21st century, people have lost that personal touch that a phone call or in person interation fulfills.
      I have seen soooooo many sites that tell you rules/regulations for dating and timelines that is not what dating is about! Dating is about getting to know a person, finding out their dreams and loving their imperfections. Ok, I know I sound like every romantic movie out there but there has to still be “love” in the air. Right?

     




           Don’t get me wrong, texting is a great form of communication to be able to send someone a sweet I love you message while sitting in a work meeting or class... 

When asking someone on a date it should not be used…
when telling someone they are going to be a mom/dad it should not be used…
when breaking up with someone it should not be used….
when quiting a job it should not be used…
when sitting at a dinner table it should not be used...
when cuddeling is a movie theatre it should not be used...
when on a date it should not be used NO MATTER how bored you are...   Its just rude!
    
When to use text:
When sending a quick message
when telling someone you need to stay at work/school late
when you catch your significant other cheating (the text always throws them off their game) Trust me..
short updates on your day
Im thinking of you text
ok you get the point..


        Texts are great for quick reminders but people should not be having paragraph long converstaions over text. Everyone is afraid of rejection, therefore text seems like a way out of feeling vunerable and insecure but studies have shown that people still perfer a call over a text.

BOTTOM LINE:
            If you ask someone on a date over a text message you are portraying the image that you are insecure, insincere and overall don’t really care enough to call. I realize that this is not the case 99% of the time but by hiding behind technology you are showing you are not confident enough with yourself to be able to ask them in person or AT LEAST over the phone.

Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment.

xoxo Gift-Of-Gab 
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab

ABOUT THE BLOG

 
            This Blog will feature everything from dating tips, fashion tips, music suggestions and much more.

DATING
I personally feel that the proper dating techniques have been lost in translation therefore people are having problems transitioning from the older generation to the new generations. Although change is great there are many problems that I have personally experienced. Sexting, texting and flexing are No No’s on a first date this and many other tips will be featured in this blog.

FASHION
            As the seasons go by fashion trends are always changing. This blog will help keep you up to date and trendy for all of those on purpose/accidental encounters with your ex as with your future prospects.

GOSSIP
            Everyone loves to gossip including me! This blog will feature must hear music choices, movies, celebrity news and much more.

I look forward to reading your responses and keeping you up to date with all 21st century must knows. Share your stories with me and I will share mine with you. Bye for now.

xoxo
Gift-of-Gab
Follow me on twitter: @MissGiftOfGab  https://twitter.com/#!/MissGiftOfGab